“I can’t, You can.” This has become one of my favorite prayers to help bring me into a healthy frame of mind when I am faced with a lust trigger. It encompasses the first two steps, and sometimes I’ll add the words “I’ll let you” to bring in the third step of recovery.
I haven’t yet figured out how to expel lust once and for all, so I need simple prayers like this to help me throughout the day when I am faced with lust temptations. “I can’t, You can.” This is the third option; surrender. Without it I am left with one of two other miserable options; white knuckle will power, or simply giving in and lusting.
What I never understood before, but what I accept now, is that as a lust addict, I cannot handle any lust whatsoever. I cannot “lust like a gentleman.” I cannot control and enjoy lust. So, if I really want to stop lusting with pornography, I also have to stop lusting when I see attractive women at Costco, or through fantasy, or in intimacy with my wife.
This is not easy for me. In fact, it is not possible unless I get some help. Without help my drug of choice, has become my drug of no choice. So today, when I am triggered to lust, and it usually happens every day, I have three options. “I can’t, You can” helps put me in place to chose that third option and live instead giving in to lust and spiritual death.