One of the talks today reminded me of the SA definition of lust. The speaker shared a story about a controlled burn conducted in the corner of a large city park in the midwest. The planners hoped to practice extinguishing brush fires on a small scale, so the fire was started, but unexpected high winds […]Read more "Sex and Fire"
“Why don’t you just tell them to read the scriptures?” This was the question posed by my bishop friend’s sweet wife as he opened a box of newly ordered copies of Sitting in a Rowboat Throwing Marbles at a Battleship. I certainly can’t judge her for thinking this way. I would have asked the same question […]Read more "Why Scripture Study isn’t Working for Addicts"
I had plans to visit the temple this week. Then my addiction struck, unexpectedly, and forced me to ask the question, “What is temple worthiness?” What determines worthiness? Is it a determined amount of time of being “clean.” What does that even mean? No pornography? What about sneaking looks at attractive women that I inevitably […]Read more "Temple Worship"
Sigh…almost made it to a year this time. Almost. Staring over is one of the most humbling experiences I know. So difficult to tell the ones I love most that I hurt them again. I don’t want to. Want to run and hide, minimize, justify why this isn’t a relapse. Don’t want to tell my […]Read more "Starting Over"
About sponsors, trying to overcome addiction on your own, and non-addicts coming to terms with the true nature of addictionRead more "Sponsorship, the Ways I Tried to Stop – and FAILED, and a Need for Understanding"
I was once listening to someone compare recovery to a surveyor’s tripod; a device that can go just about anywhere and stand sound on any type of surface as long as all three legs are functioning properly. At times in the course of my recovery I have had to admit that I just can’t handle […]Read more "The Surveyor’s Tripod and Recovery"
I sometimes find it useful to remind myself of all the ways I tried to stop acting out my addiction to lust and fantasy. One of these came in the form of a Christmas promise. The promise was made in secret and consisted of a determination that my secret Christmas gift to my wife or […]Read more "Merry Sober Christmas"