An Eclipse and a Regret

Dealing with my regrets from my poor parenting, one day at a time.

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Acceptance and Loving What Is

It’s been over a year since my last post, and I’m still an addict. But I’m doing things I’ve never done before. Recently I spent over a month in hotel rooms, away from family, and did not act out. Only God could make this possible. I definitely couldn’t do it, I’ve proven that enough times. […]

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Sex and Fire

One of the talks today reminded me of the SA definition of lust. The speaker shared a story about a controlled burn conducted in the corner of a large city park in the midwest. The planners hoped to practice extinguishing brush fires on a small scale, so the fire was started, but unexpected high winds […]

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Temple Worship

I had plans to visit the temple this week. Then my addiction struck, unexpectedly, and forced me to ask the question, “What is temple worthiness?” What determines worthiness? Is it a determined amount of time of being “clean.” What does that even mean? No pornography? What about sneaking looks at attractive women that I inevitably […]

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Starting Over

Sigh…almost made it to a year this time. Almost. Staring over is one of the most humbling experiences I know. So difficult to tell the ones I love most that I hurt them again. I don’t want to. Want to run and hide, minimize, justify why this isn’t a relapse. Don’t want to tell my […]

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