Dealing with my regrets from my poor parenting, one day at a time.Read more "An Eclipse and a Regret"
Many years into recovery, I finally asked myself, do I suffer from depression?Read more "To Drug, Or Not To Drug?"
It’s been over a year since my last post, and I’m still an addict. But I’m doing things I’ve never done before. Recently I spent over a month in hotel rooms, away from family, and did not act out. Only God could make this possible. I definitely couldn’t do it, I’ve proven that enough times. […]Read more "Acceptance and Loving What Is"
One of the talks today reminded me of the SA definition of lust. The speaker shared a story about a controlled burn conducted in the corner of a large city park in the midwest. The planners hoped to practice extinguishing brush fires on a small scale, so the fire was started, but unexpected high winds […]Read more "Sex and Fire"
“Why don’t you just tell them to read the scriptures?” This was the question posed by my bishop friend’s sweet wife as he opened a box of newly ordered copies of Sitting in a Rowboat Throwing Marbles at a Battleship. I certainly can’t judge her for thinking this way. I would have asked the same question […]Read more "Why Scripture Study isn’t Working for Addicts"
I had plans to visit the temple this week. Then my addiction struck, unexpectedly, and forced me to ask the question, “What is temple worthiness?” What determines worthiness? Is it a determined amount of time of being “clean.” What does that even mean? No pornography? What about sneaking looks at attractive women that I inevitably […]Read more "Temple Worship"
Sigh…almost made it to a year this time. Almost. Staring over is one of the most humbling experiences I know. So difficult to tell the ones I love most that I hurt them again. I don’t want to. Want to run and hide, minimize, justify why this isn’t a relapse. Don’t want to tell my […]Read more "Starting Over"