Sex and Fire

One of the talks today reminded me of the SA definition of lust. The speaker shared a story about a controlled burn conducted in the corner of a large city park in the midwest. The planners hoped to practice extinguishing brush fires on a small scale, so the fire was started, but unexpected high winds […]

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Temple Worship

I had plans to visit the temple this week. Then my addiction struck, unexpectedly, and forced me to ask the question, “What is temple worthiness?” What determines worthiness? Is it a determined amount of time of being “clean.” What does that even mean? No pornography? What about sneaking looks at attractive women that I inevitably […]

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Starting Over

Sigh…almost made it to a year this time. Almost. Staring over is one of the most humbling experiences I know. So difficult to tell the ones I love most that I hurt them again. I don’t want to. Want to run and hide, minimize, justify why this isn’t a relapse. Don’t want to tell my […]

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Merry Sober Christmas

I sometimes find it useful to remind myself of all the ways I tried to stop acting out my addiction to lust and fantasy. One of these came in the form of a Christmas promise. The promise was made in secret and consisted of a determination that my secret Christmas gift to my wife or […]

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